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How to stop being passive-aggressive at work

By Zippia Team - Feb. 1, 2023

To stop being passive-aggressive at work you need to define passive-aggressive behavior, identify the subtext of the issue, and choose productive communication methods. Here are some details on these ways and others you can stop being passive-aggressive at work:

  • Define passive-aggressive behavior

    A good first step in this area is to learn about the symptoms and signs of passive-aggressive behavior. This helps you to be able to identify the behavior faster and accurately so you can stop it as soon as you witness yourself doing it. This might also illuminate and point to other colleagues that you didn't realize were participating in passive-aggressive behavior.

  • Identify the subtext of the issue

    In most cases, there is an underlying reason as to why you are acting passive-aggressive in your workplace. You might have major concerns about a specific issue and feel that you aren't being heard by the rest of the employees and supervisors. If you can address the problem directly, you can avoid being passive-aggressive.

  • Choosing productive communication methods

    When you act in a passive-aggressive manner towards others at work, it can be helpful to attempt different methods of communication with each person. Avoid using language that is;

    • Combative

    • Confrontational

    • Negative

If you need to give a coworker feedback, try to keep it constructive and positive. Using positive reinforcement methods will also go a long way in this area. You should apologize for any passive-aggressive behavior on your part.

  • Take responsibility for your own part

    You should consider your own part in the passive-aggressive behavior, don't just highlight the behaviors and actions of others that you feel are making you act this way. It is a good idea to contemplate how you have interacted and responded to coworkers in the recent past.

    You might find that there was a misunderstanding, miscommunication, or some oversight on your part that stirred this reaction. You can then:

    • Apologize if necessary

    • Ask if you have offended them in any way

    • Detail how you plan to fix the problem or issue with your own behavior

    Doing this will show your coworkers that you truly value and care for them. Observing your own conduct is healthy practice regardless, and can be especially helpful in terms of helping to resolve any passive-aggressiveness in the workplace.

  • Establish boundaries

    It is important to establish boundaries in a working environment. When you set boundaries you let your coworkers know how you prefer to be communicated with and your overall approach to communicating in the workplace helps you avoid passive-aggressive behavior. You should also inquire about any preferences concerning your coworkers' preferences.

  • Seek out help from colleagues or HR

    Sometimes passive-aggressive issues are too complex or tense for you to resolve on your own. If you feel like you have gotten to this point, it is a good idea to seek out the help of other colleagues. If the situation is getting particularly toxic, you can also go to your HR department for guidance.

  • How to stop being passive-aggressive at work
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