{"id":7688,"date":"2015-10-05T09:00:50","date_gmt":"2015-10-05T16:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/recruitloop.wpengine.com\/?p=7688"},"modified":"2023-05-12T12:02:34","modified_gmt":"2023-05-12T19:02:34","slug":"how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ahh. The dreaded ‘difficult conversation’.<\/p>\n

How often do you find yourself in the difficult position where you realise you probably need to\u00a0have a fairly awkward (and perhaps somewhat intense) conversation with a\u00a0poor performer, a disruptive employee, or someone on the team who is\u00a0simply not pulling their weight and dragging the rest of the team behind them?<\/p>\n

As a Human Resource practitioner I find that this is an all too common occurrence and because of that, the business owner or manager will either simply avoid it, or sugar coat the conversation, so as not to hurt the other person\u2019s feelings.\u00a0While the business might be bleeding money or resources by not having the critical and crucial conversation, at least the employee is feeling ok.<\/p>\n

Sound familiar?<\/p>\n

I recently had a manager tell me\u00a0that \u201cthey\u2019re<\/em> (the employee) going away on holidays soon and when they return I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll be better<\/em>\u201d. My response was, \u201cwhy would they be better after working like that for 5 years just because they’ve been away on holidays?<\/em>\u201d. The real problem here in the manager procrastinating was the issue of needing to have a meaningful and honest conversation.<\/p>\n

Here are my tips for any business owner or manager having to have a difficult conversation with a team member:<\/p>\n

1. Be honest<\/h2>\n

This is always stated however this goes hand in hand with being authentic (next point). Being honest means telling it like it is.<\/p>\n

If you need to tell\u00a0someone that they are underperforming then say, \u201cyou are underperforming<\/em>\u201d. If you are disappointed in the person for not delivering the project on time, then say \u201cI am disappointed with how long you took to deliver the project<\/em>.\u201d Being honest does not mean sugar coating. It means delivering a message that is true and straight to the point.<\/p>\n

2. Be authentic<\/strong><\/h2>\n

This is different to being honest. Authentic is defined as being \u201caccurate in representation of the facts; trustworthy; reliable<\/em>\u201d (Collins Dictionary). To me this means being genuine, or \u2018fair dinkum\u2019 as some might say in this part of the world. Being authentic means speaking from your heart and head and not from a text book<\/a>. It means trying to convey a message that is real.<\/p>\n

3. Be prepared<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Regardless of whether\u00a0you choose to set the meeting up formally or informally, you must be totally prepared. There is nothing worse for the person\u00a0on the receiving end of what is essentially a negative message than to receive a waffly message or told things that are not on point.<\/p>\n

Whatever your method, have notes in front of you; have specific documentation to refer to; have their job description or the policy that they have breached. Above all be prepared. If you have to practise in front of the mirror, your partner or your best friend to make it clear and succinct then do it!<\/p>\n

4. Be assertive. Not aggressive<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I have been confronted with situations many times where the person receiving the message (quite understandably) becomes defensive. The tendency of the manager is typically to then also start to raise their voice and become uncomfortable and therefore their body language and tone start to match that of the employee.<\/p>\n

The key is to be assertive. That is, be confident in the dialogue with them. Try to look for a win\/win outcome. Try to achieve a mutually satisfying outcome that will benefit both parties. Being aggressive never served anyone well.<\/p>\n

5. Don’t be afraid to reconvene<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In the rare case where an employee\u00a0starts to become irrational and aggressive<\/a>, take back control of the meeting and re-convene for the following\u00a0morning. There will be nothing to be gained in the short term by trying to assert your position. In the end, you are the business owner or manager and it is your meeting not theirs. It is also your message of their performance, so it is for you to take control and deliver it without unnecessary commotion.<\/p>\n

6. Avoid buying into emotion<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The circumstances for the poor performance may be perfectly valid ones or\u00a0one in which you hold a great deal of empathy. The key, however, is not to buy into the emotion. Allow the person some time to take a break and gather themselves physically and emotionally, but it is important that your\u00a0message still gets delivered.<\/p>\n

7. Ask the recipient for a solution<\/strong><\/h2>\n

If the problem is poor performance or behaviour for example, ask the person how they see themselves\u00a0being able to rectify the issue. Get their buy in and commitment to fixing the problem (assuming it is fixable!). This is critical in order to rehabilitate\u00a0the employee back into better performance. They need to be part of the solution.<\/p>\n

8. Ask for help<\/strong><\/h2>\n

No matter how many times you have had\u00a0a difficult conversation in the workplace, they are still\u00a0difficult. It’s OK to ask for\u00a0advice from a friend or a colleague (be mindful of confidentiality here) to assist you with your delivery. If it\u2019s reasonable, you may even want to\u00a0ask for someone else to be in the room with you for your support.<\/p>\n

Nick Hedges is the founder of Resolve HR, a Sydney-based HR consultancy specialising in providing workplace advice to managers and business owners.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":8765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[100,120],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zippia For Employers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zippia\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-10-05T16:00:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-05-12T19:02:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Bernadette Eichner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/How-to-Have-a-Difficult-Conversation-With-a-Team-Member-1.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@ZippiaInc\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@ZippiaInc\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Bernadette Eichner\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/\",\"name\":\"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-10-05T16:00:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-05-12T19:02:34+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#\/schema\/person\/5cc890877abc215fa4433ea366ebfb09\"},\"description\":\"Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/\",\"name\":\"Zippia For Employers\",\"description\":\"How to find the best employees.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#\/schema\/person\/5cc890877abc215fa4433ea366ebfb09\",\"name\":\"Bernadette Eichner\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c7938b269db25b4e4f2ebc75265cba92?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c7938b269db25b4e4f2ebc75265cba92?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Bernadette Eichner\"},\"description\":\"Bernadette Eichner has had a successful career in hospitality sales, real estate, and recruitment. In 1999, she founded HRM Resolutions, a strategic human resource consultancy, and later became a founding recruiter and investor at RecruitLoop.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/bernadetteeichner\/\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/bernadetteeichner\/?originalSubdomain=au\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/author\/bernadette-eichner\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member","description":"Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member","og_description":"Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/","og_site_name":"Zippia For Employers","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Zippia\/","article_published_time":"2015-10-05T16:00:50+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-05-12T19:02:34+00:00","author":"Bernadette Eichner","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_image":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/How-to-Have-a-Difficult-Conversation-With-a-Team-Member-1.jpg","twitter_creator":"@ZippiaInc","twitter_site":"@ZippiaInc","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Bernadette Eichner","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/","url":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/","name":"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-10-05T16:00:50+00:00","dateModified":"2023-05-12T19:02:34+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#\/schema\/person\/5cc890877abc215fa4433ea366ebfb09"},"description":"Nick Hedges shares his tips for any business owner having to have a difficult conversation with a poor performing team member or a difficult employee.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/how-to-have-difficult-conversation-with-team-member\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Have a Difficult Conversation With a Team Member"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/","name":"Zippia For Employers","description":"How to find the best employees.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#\/schema\/person\/5cc890877abc215fa4433ea366ebfb09","name":"Bernadette Eichner","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c7938b269db25b4e4f2ebc75265cba92?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c7938b269db25b4e4f2ebc75265cba92?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Bernadette Eichner"},"description":"Bernadette Eichner has had a successful career in hospitality sales, real estate, and recruitment. In 1999, she founded HRM Resolutions, a strategic human resource consultancy, and later became a founding recruiter and investor at RecruitLoop.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/bernadetteeichner\/","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/bernadetteeichner\/?originalSubdomain=au"],"url":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/author\/bernadette-eichner\/"}]}},"articleguide":"","showTableContent":"","showFeaturedImage":"","pageCategoryL2":"","authorsExperts":"","featured_image_url":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/How-to-Have-a-Difficult-Conversation-With-a-Team-Member-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7688"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7688"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7688\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zippia.com\/employer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}