Business Dinner Etiquette: Everything You Need To Know

For many people, the thought of attending a business dinner can be a tremendous source of anxiety, whether the purpose of the event is to pitch a sale to a new client, land a job, impress your boss, or any number of goals you don’t want to mess up with a less-than-stellar performance.

If you found yourself nodding as you read that while your stomach twisted up in a knot, you’re not alone. But a white-collar business dinner doesn’t have to be so stressful.

By keeping a few key tips in mind, you’ll do more than just survive the dinner without making a fool of yourself; you’ll have a great opportunity to make a good impression on your guests.

Key Takeaways:

• Make sure you dress appropriately and present yourself professionally.

• Let your guests or the others at the table set the pace for when you are eating.

• Avoid being late to the dinner and don’t arrive expecting to eat right away.

• Try to mirror the actions of others to know the proper way to act.

Why Is Business Dinner Etiquette Important?

You get only one chance to make a good first impression. In many cases, that first impression happens at the dinner table when you’re meeting with clients, prospective business partners, or your new boss.

Even if the gathered guests are people you already know in a work setting, one disastrous meal can forever alter their perception of you. Are you the polite, professional person who has everything under control, or are you the rude, obnoxious person nobody wants to sit next to?

Consider how your conduct might impact other aspects of your career, such as a bonus or raise if your boss notices you have poor etiquette around colleagues, or worse, potential new clients, recruits, or collaborators, it won’t reflect well on you.

That seems like a lot of pressure on your shoulders, but don’t panic. Most business etiquette is common sense that shouldn’t take too much thought to master. Eventually, with enough practice, it will become second nature.

11 Ways to Demonstrate Proper Business Dinner Etiquette

1. Step back and let the host take charge. That means allowing the host to pick the time and date, send the business letters, set up the reservation, greet the guests, direct them to their seats, recommend entrees, start the conversation, etc.

   If you are the host, you are expected to be prepared and make sure everything is set up properly and then runs smoothly. You set the pace.

2. Be conscious of various work shifts. When scheduling, consider if your company or client employs workers outside of normal business hours.

   You want to ensure that a business dinner can fit into guests’ schedules without too much inconvenience, so taking account of employees who work a first, second, or third shift might require some extra planning on your part.

3. Dress appropriately to present yourself professionally. Even if you’re meeting at a semi-casual restaurant, wearing jeans and a T-shirt isn’t going to win any style points or impress your guests.

   Proper office attire is usually appropriate, although you can dress up more if it’s a formal dinner. However, be cognizant of your boss; it’s generally good practice to not outdress the host.

4. Set your napkin in your lap. But wait until your guest touches his or her napkin first. Proper etiquette is to unfold your napkin under the table before draping it across your lap. Do not tuck it into the front of your shirt like a bib.

5. Be prepared to answer get-to-know-you questions. These are ice-breaker inquiries designed to not only jumpstart the conversation but also to help you get to know the people at the table, especially if you’re welcoming a new employee to the team.

   Remember to keep your responses short and sweet; nobody wants to hear you drone on for twenty minutes about your complete life story.

   If you can master the nuances of interview small talk, you’ll be in a great position to steer the business dinner in the right direction.

6. Be assertive and decisive. Staring at the menu for fifteen minutes trying to pick an entree while everyone else at the table has been ready to order for a while is not a good impression you want to make.

   If you know you’re indecisive when it comes to ordering food, look at the menu online before you arrive at the restaurant. Being a strong decision-maker is a good attribute that helps you project confidence, which is exactly what a boss or client wants to see.

7. Let your guest set the pace. You don’t, under any circumstances, want your guest to feel uncomfortable. If the guest orders an appetizer, follow suit. Same with dessert. If you’re a fast eater, try to remain conscious of your guest’s pace and match it.

   If you’re a slow eater, be prepared to stop before you’re finished if your guest is done with the meal long before you will be. Don’t make the guest wait for you to finish.

8. Know which silverware to use. Each course should have its own set of silverware, which should already be at your place setting when you arrive.

   If you’re worried about mistaking your soup spoon for your dessert spoon, a good general rule is to start with the outermost silverware for the first course and work your way in as the various courses are served.

9. Be polite and courteous to the restaurant staff. Criticizing the food and the staff is a rude gesture and will not impress your guests.

10. Plan the payment before the bill arrives. Ideally, a host will speak to a server beforehand and give a credit card to ensure everything is already taken care of and there won’t be any awkward and uncomfortable looks between guests wondering if they’re expected to pay.

    If this is a circumstance where guests are expected to pay for their meals, make that clear before they order, as it may affect how a guest selects an entree.

11. Consider following up with a thank-you letter to the host if appropriate. It takes a lot of work to pull off a successful business dinner, and by showing that all that hard work didn’t go unnoticed, you’ll likely be one of the first to receive an invitation to the next outing.

    Appreciation and gratitude can go a long way toward impressing the right people.

Dinner Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid

Here are some of the things you shouldn’t do when go do a business dinner.

1. Don’t be late. Your guests will consider this to be extremely rude, even if you have a good excuse. By being tardy to a business dinner, you are essentially telling your guests that their time is not a priority for you.

2. Don’ pull out chairs for guests. While that etiquette may be acceptable in a social setting, it’s generally frowned up in a business situation, regardless of the guests’ gender. It is, however, acceptable (and encouraged) to hold the door open for guests.

3. Don’t jump the gun when it comes to talking business. This is important for two reasons. First, if you aren’t the host, you may be interrupting your boss’s agenda.

   Second, if you skip the introductions and pleasantries, your guests may not feel comfortable with one another quite yet, and you’ll have a much less productive business meeting. Timing can be everything.

4. Don’t use your phone during the meal. Your guests should have your full, undivided attention.

   The best practice is to either turn your phone off or switch it to silent mode and put it away to ensure it isn’t interrupting the conversation by constantly making noise with text messages and work emails. Proper phone etiquette is an absolute must.

5. Don’t engage in pet peeve behaviors. They are likely to drive some of your guests nuts. These are the little annoying habits that you need to be conscious of.

   For example, chewing or drinking loudly, talking with your mouth full, cracking your knuckles, bouncing your foot under the table, etc.

   Be aware of your guests. If they’re sending you dirty looks while you keep clicking your pen, that’s a good sign they’re not enjoying themselves and are more focused on the grating sound than they are on the conversation.

   See a list of the most common pet peeves and identify any that you know you’re sometimes guilty of; then be diligent about refraining from that behavior.

6. Don’t lose your professional demeanor. Just because you aren’t in an office setting anymore, don’t forget that this is still about business.

   You aren’t hanging out with a group of friends on a Friday night, and you aren’t on a date, even if you’re dating a coworker who is attending the business dinner. Treat every single guest with the same courtesy you would show them at the office.

7. Don’t arrive at dinner feeling ravenous. Remember that your guest will set the pace. If your guest isn’t hungry, don’t count on ordering big entrees.

   You also don’t want to appear unprofessional by wolfing down food and nodding with your mouth full while your guest does all the talking.

8. Don’t stack your dishes or push them away when you are finished. You are either a host or a guest, but you’re not the server. Allow the wait staff to do their job and clear the table as the guests finish their meals.

9. Don’t ask for a to-go box for leftovers. This isn’t a casual family dinner; you came to discuss business, not indulge in the food and bring home lunch for tomorrow.

10. Don’t make a big, flashy show of paying the bill. One of the worst things a host can do is draw everyone’s attention by whipping out the wallet with a flourish and counting out hundred dollar bills to show off.

    Another big mistake would be to argue about the bill. At all times, the host should appear to be calm, composed, and in control. Paying the bill should be an inconsequential act in comparison to the rest of the dinner.

Additional Business Meal Etiquette Tips

You should have a pretty good idea of what constitutes proper and poor etiquette. Here are some more tips to help you with your business dinner etiquette:

• Use your napkin for its intended purpose It should go without saying that using your napkin as tissue or beginning to clean your teeth at the table is not going to make a good impression on your guests. Brush up on your basic table etiquette if you’re concerned about making a faux pas.

• Observe your guests. If in doubt, observe your guests and try to mirror their actions, especially if you’re able to identify a seasoned veteran of the trade who has been to many business meals and knows how to act.

• Pace yourself when eating. Some people tend to be slower eaters than others, so it’s a good idea to finish your last bite when everyone else is.

• Be mindful of what you order. You should be picking something that can be eaten with a fork. If you have any documents that you have to go over at the dinner, having messy hands from finger foods can look bad. Stick to something that can be used with your utensils.

• Chew with your mouth closed. This should be a rule when eating in general, but make sure you chew with your mouth closed, and don’t talk with food in your mouth as well. No one wants to see that.

Final Thoughts

You’ll likely be uncomfortable during your first business dinner, and that’s okay. The trick is to not show your discomfort. Like many other life skills, this is something that will become easier and easier until it’s second nature if you keep practicing it.

Just remember to be professional and polite. Take a deep breath and relax. You can do this.

Author

Chris Kolmar

Chris Kolmar is a co-founder of Zippia and the editor-in-chief of the Zippia career advice blog. He has hired over 50 people in his career, been hired five times, and wants to help you land your next job. His research has been featured on the New York Times, Thrillist, VOX, The Atlantic, and a host of local news. More recently, he's been quoted on USA Today, BusinessInsider, and CNBC.