8 Tips On How To Deal With Difficult People At Work

When you work with someone long enough, you might find it difficult to work with them if they do something you don’t like.

It’s not an ideal situation to have a difficult person to work with, we have eight tips that will make it easier to work with them

Key Takeaways:

• It’s important not to lose your cool with a difficult coworker because it could make the situation worse.

• Getting a second opinion could offer a unique perspective and give you advice on how to handle the situation.

• If you can’t deal with the coworker anymore try talking to your supervisor about it because they can help diffuse the situation.

8 Tips on How to Deal With Difficult People at Work

1. Don’t lose your cool. Even though a difficult or annoying coworker can really grind your gears, you should always control your emotions and refrain from losing your temper.

   • Reacting to a difficult coworker in a harsh or otherwise unprofessional way won’t make the situation any better, plus, no one will listen to you if you sound like a big whiny baby.

   • Take a deep breath and just face the fact that you’re going to have to deal with this person in one way or another. If your pain-in-the-ass coworker sees that you’re cool, calm, and collected despite their irritating behavior, there’s a good chance they’ll be more inclined to respect you.

2. Figure out where they’re coming from. Aside from a small number of people who are a special, unique brand of jerks, most people are not difficult just for the sake of being difficult.

   • Instead of going into a fit of rage, remove yourself from the situation. Ask yourself, “Why are they acting like this?” Surely they’re not out to get you, and there could be an underlying reason for their behavior.

   • Maybe they’re going through a hard time at home and end up taking out their frustrations on their coworkers. Perhaps they’re insecure, which is why it takes them a few days to complete a project.

   • Try to be understanding instead of angry, and see if you can find a way to help meet their needs and resolve the problem. It’s much more productive than getting mad and being passive-aggressive.

3. Get a second opinion. If one person in your office is driving you nuts, try to get some perspective from others. Your coworkers and friends have most likely dealt with a similar situation, and they could offer a unique perspective and give you advice on how to handle the situation.

   Share your story and seek advice. But a word of caution: don’t talk about your annoying coworker to everyone and their mother at your office. That’s a quick and easy way to be labeled as the office gossip, and that’s just not a good look.

   Discretion is key. Remember, you’re looking for advice, not trying to smack-talk someone out of the office.

4. Talk it out. If you can’t find ways to deal with your annoying coworker on your own, you might want to try to approach them in a friendly and respectful manner, and ideally find a solution to the problem at hand.

   • Mention specific examples of times that made you feel frustrated and share how these moments affected your productivity. If you feel comfortable, offer your support to help resolve an issue or to vent. You could say something along the lines of this example:

     Dealing With Difficult People At Work Example Answer

     “I know this was not your intention, but [specific annoying coworker behavior] made me feel uncomfortable, which in turn made it difficult for me to finish my work for the day. If you’re having a hard time I would be glad to help you find ways to complete a project, or I would happy to lend an ear if you need to vent.”

   • Sometimes people are completely oblivious that their behavior is annoying others. Being able to communicate effectively will really come in handy when working with others.

5. Let them know how you’re feeling. When you approach your coworker about their insufferable behavior, you should try to make them aware of your feelings.

   • Rather than being accusatory and coming off as difficult yourself, making your coworker aware of your side of the situation may get them on board to address their actions much easier.

   • Make “I” statements to describe how you feel about their actions — it helps to avoid blaming or accusing them of something, which automatically puts people on the defensive.

   • Then, be an active listener when they describe how they see the situation or give reasons for their behavior. Ask questions and be attentive to their issues. If you show that you’re trying your best to better the relationship, most people will appreciate that fact and try to work with you.

6. Give respect to get respect. No matter how awful and irritating and annoying this person is, you should always treat them with respect

   • Talking to your coworker as if they’re stupid or incompetent is never going to yield positive results.

   • Plus, they’ll probably treat you with the same lack of respect, and they might even take measures to further annoy you specifically — and that will just make your situation a whole lot worse.

   • Even if your points are completely valid, when you attack someone or are rude, you lose credibility in the conversation. Now it’s not you confronting a bully, but rather you becoming one. Don’t lose sight of the ultimate goal: to create a more enjoyable work environment for everyone involved.

   • If you feel unable to carry out a civil conversation with this individual, then it’s probably time to head to the final two tips.

7. Ignore them. If one of your coworkers is driving you crazy but you can’t muster up the guts to approach them about it, you can always just try ignoring them. Just focus on your tasks and only interact with them if you absolutely have to.

   • Or maybe you’ve had many difficult conversations with this individual, to no effect. In that case, it’s probably not worth your mental and emotional bandwidth to worry about improving the relationship. Accept that you can’t win everyone over and that you’re only responsible for your behaviors and reactions, not others.

   • Don’t talk to this person unless you need something from them or vice versa. It can be an awkward scenario, and it’s unpleasant feeling like you have to hide from or avoid someone you work with. Weigh the pros and cons and consider changing departments or even companies if it becomes a major issue.

   • This can present a special challenge if your jerk coworker is someone who you have to work with on a regular basis, which brings us to our last tip.

8. Take it up with your supervisor. If your awful coworker isn’t willing to listen to reason and it’s impossible for you to ignore them, you might want to address the issue with your manager.

   • You may want to enlist a supporter or two who will add their voices to yours — that way, it doesn’t seem like a petty squabble, but a legitimate workplace disturbance.

   • The goal isn’t to get someone punished or ostracize a coworker. It’s simply to fix problem areas of the relationship and get everyone back on track. People have a right to a comfortable work environment, and if one employee is ruining that for several, good management should take notice.

   • You should be able to demonstrate to your boss that this person is directly interfering with your productivity, and offer possible solutions. This option should really be used as a last result. Otherwise, you might be seen as a tattletale or a person who can’t handle his own problems. But sometimes, it’s really the only effective solution.

Types of Difficult Coworkers

It’s important to recognize that not all difficult coworkers are created equal. Depending on what sort of beast you’re dealing with, your strategies may change. Let’s go over a basic taxonomy of difficult people you may encounter at work:

1. The condescending coworker. This is the person who explains stuff you already know, generalizes your behavior (“That’s always an issue for you, isn’t it?”), interrupts you, and corrects your mistakes all the time. They’re insecure about themselves and need to prove that they’re better than everyone, all the time.

   Don’t take these behaviors personally — these people have their own issues that likely have little to do with you. Try to distill their rude communication into the actual feedback they’re trying to get across and ask follow-up questions where you reframe their bad attitude to more positive language.

   These people also typically respond well to direct, polite confrontation, because they’re often unaware of how they speak to people; it’s their default mode.

2. The gossip. This is the sort of person who thrives on drama and wants to know what everyone is up to. They compare salaries, swap stories on office relationships, and make fun of personal habits they notice. The gossip might even seem like a confidante and friend because they’re sociable.

   It’s a mistake to engage with and sanction this sort of behavior. It’s also not a good idea to directly call a person a gossip.

   You can let it be known that you don’t want to receive gossipy news by saying something simple like, “It makes me uncomfortable when you tell me personal information about other people.” They probably won’t want to be your bud after saying something like that, but they’ll also probably stop annoying you.

3. The complaining coworker. Everyone needs to bitch about work sometimes, and we’re not suggesting there’s anything wrong with that. But the complainer is a person who always finds the negatives in any situation and never appreciates victories. They’re a really draining person to be around.

   You can try to bring the conversation back around to more positive topics, but this type of person really prefers talking about what’s wrong instead of what’s right. If you find commiserating with this individual too mentally taxing, simply keep your conversations short, throw in some non-committal sounds of agreement, and move on with your day.

4. The bully. Man, you thought you were done with this sort of thing when you left high school. Bad news: bullies grew up right alongside you. If someone at work is constantly putting you or others down, it needs to be addressed.

   In fact, if it gets to the point where you fear approaching this person because of their insults, threats, and criticisms, then you’ve got a bigger problem than a “difficult coworker.” This sort of behavior is unacceptable, and if your boss doesn’t agree, then it’s probably time to start looking for a new place to work.

How to Work With a Difficult Coworker FAQ

1. What causes someone to become difficult to deal with?

   There could be a number of reasons someone could be difficult to deal with. Some of these could include:

   • Jealousy of others

   • Mental health struggles

   • Personal issues with family or friends

   • Stress resulting from workload

2. How do you stop a difficult person from ruining your day?

   Give yourself a set time to deal with the emotions the difficult person has given you. This could be if you needed to cry, vent to a friend, or even think about the reason they are acting this way. You don’t want to let their actions be carried with you the entire day.

3. How do you deal with a coworker who overstepped their boundary?

   If a coworker overstepped their boundary it’s important to be polite but stern when telling them. This conversation should be private. You should use specific examples and be clear that the coworker has overstepped.

4. What is a toxic coworker?

   A toxic coworker is someone who consistently brings others around them down. It’s important to remember that “toxic” isn’t the same as “frustrating.” Just because someone is having an off day, isn’t great at their job, or can be difficult to work with doesn’t mean they’re toxic.

   Truly toxic coworkers are those that harm workplaces, teams, and individuals with their belligerence, rudeness, bad attitudes, and/or willful incompetence far more than they help.

Final Thoughts

Annoying people are everywhere, and you can’t hide from them forever. When someone at work is so obnoxiously frustrating that they’re making it hard for you to be productive, it’s time for you to take matters into your own hands.

Remember to always be polite and respectful when you need to deal with difficult people at work.

With just a little reasoning and an open mind, you can surely prevent someone from getting on your nerves and get back to working at your highest potential.

References

1. Mississippi State University – Dealing With Difficult Personalities in the Workplace

Author

Maddie Lloyd

Maddie Lloyd was a writer for the Zippia Advice blog focused on researching tips for interview, resume, and cover letter preparation. She's currently a graduate student at North Carolina State University's department of English concentrating in Film and Media Studies.